Photo by Zachary Nelson on Unsplash
Did it ever seem as if a doctor once told you, not in the exact words, that it was all in your head when you complained about an ailment for which he/she could find no explanation? Have you ever felt depressed and someone told you to “snap out of it?”
These situations can be quite frustrating, and they may actually be insensitive. First off, pain is pain and people do not imagine it. Secondly, if people could simply “snap out of” depression, they would. Nobody wakes up one morning and thinks, “I think I will choose to feel depressed today.”
However, I would like to attempt to try to explain another side to this in hopes of providing one tool for mental wellness, which is also applicable to suicide prevention. Although the above examples display a lack of empathy, there is some truth to the connection between our physical state, our emotional state and what we can control.
It is known that a positive outlook is a protective factor on our mental health and our thoughts are something we do have control over. Now, notice I said thoughts, not emotions. Emotions are valid, real feelings that, all too often, are hidden and we should not be ashamed of them. They are, however, a reaction to our thoughts, and those thoughts are actually a choice. Choices become more and more difficult to control when we form habits. Just like our habitual behavior can cause positive or negative consequences in our lives, the same holds true in regards to our habitual thinking.
So how can we form a habit of happiness? It may be easier said than done, but happiness should be dependent on what is external to the self. If we think things like, “I will be happy if________” Just fill in the blank. If what completes that sentence includes a car, a job, money, marriage, divorce or anything depending on another person, place, or thing, it is a façade. Obtaining what you desire may bring a feeling of happiness for a moment, but however long that moment lasts, its only temporary. If it is dependent on one thing, and that thing becomes the norm or is taken away, the euphoric state is then over.
“I will be happy if I had plenty of money.” If this is true, why have there been so many wealthy people to complete suicide? “I just want to be married.” If that’s what brings happiness, why are there so many divorces? “I’m miserable. I’d be happier if I wasn’t with you.” If this were true, why is it that second marriages have a higher divorce rate than the first?” We must learn to combat negative thinking and stop requiring others to be responsible for our internal state. No wonder why we work ourselves sick. People are constantly running for more more more. There is nothing wrong with having goals and accomplishments, but when is it enough? My social media is flooded with encouraging words that also include messages of working on a day off, making more money, keep pushing forward and telling people to keep going even when you don’t feel like it and I often wonder about the why. Also, no wonder why relationships fail. People feel pressured to make others happy. Others are disappointed because someone failed in providing something he/she needed. There will always be disappointments in life. So, if our happiness depends on what is eternal from us, how could we ever be truly happy if disappointments are daily?
Are you in a bad mood if it rains, thinking what a miserable day? Why not think about it being a perfect day to get some things done in the house or how peaceful it sounds as the drops fall on the trees? If your spouse forgot about something important to you, do you think it was an intentional act to make you feel bad? Why not consider his/her load and that everyone forgets things? Just as I stated in my blog post about perseverance, negative thinking causes a negative physical and emotional response. The result is a negative consequence on physical and emotional health. So, then if our health is our own responsibility, then our happiness should be as well!
If you have a fitness goal, you take it upon yourself to exercise and change your eating habits. Many seek assistance with personal trainers, nutritionists, or health coaches. If your goal is to be happier, why not take it upon yourself to make the changes that will do so. If it lies in our own thinking, the assistance that many may need could be that of a trained professional like a therapist or counselor. There is a reason why we react to things the way we do. Why is that one event may result in different thought processes within many different people? Isn’t it worth learning why you think about things the way you do? Learn how to develop a habit of changing your thoughts to something that will yield a physical and emotional state free from pain. Remember, wellness consists of mind, body, and soul. God’s word feeds my soul. Philippians 4:6-8 says, “In nothing be anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with 
thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
I have to remind myself often to change my stinkin’ thinkin’! I’m still working on it myself. So, remember, our wellness is linked to our physical and emotional state. So, make it a habit to remind yourself to:
· Practice good thought patterns
· Exercise
· Maintain good eating habits
· Feed your spirit
These are the things that will help towards increased happiness, and they are all things you can achieve no matter where you live, whom you are with or what material items you possess.
May we all master this habit of happiness!
LC
