“Home sweet home” and “home is where the heart is” are long said phrases throughout society. These statements don’t always hold true, and that’s somewhat all right because nothing and no one is perfect. However, if a home isn’t where the heart is, then some changes need to be made. I mean, if we actually think about the statements we make and put them into practice, then they will actually mean something more than just a well-known cliché. Think about all the effort we put into our activities to make sure our jobs, hobbies, and other services are maintained and improved. I believe we should do the same for our homes. Are our homes really sweet homes or are they sour? It takes more than just chores and bills to maintain a home. A home should be a place of comfort, peace, fun, laughter, love, respect and safety. I like to think of a home as a family’s own sanctuary or comfort zone. It doesn’t matter how big or small the home is. It should just be a place that feels warm, comfortable, and inviting. What does that exactly take? Couldn’t it mean different things to each member of the household? Is that a topic ever discussed other than complaints about a dirty room or dishes in the sink, or the desire for a man-cave, and requests for the “I wants?”
Material items aren’t the only way to establish a comfort zone. Our relationships are definitely number one. If we can maintain certain composure with costumers, clients, coworkers, and even strangers passing by, how much more should we also do so with those at home? Association is a natural occurrence with our experiences. Our home should be associated with positive experiences rather than negative ones. What makes for positive experiences? How about things like family dinners, greetings with a smile, hugs, praises, acceptance, movie nights or watching cartoons with the children on a Saturday morning?
You see, as we all know, life gets very busy and at times can be chaotic. Long work hours, tough days at school, long commutes in traffic, and dealing with a laundry list of responsibilities. What I wish for all families is that their homes would be a place of escape from all of that. Like the feeling of a tall, cold, glass of water after a hike on a hot summer day. Like a bite of your favorite food that has just been cooked to perfection when you’re extremely hungry. Like that feeling you get after some time away from home and you sink back into your own bed. That’s the feeling I wish for all to have.
Want to be intentional about fostering your family’s comfort zone? Here are some simple ideas to remember when striving for a comfort zone that will have your spouse, and children, dashing instead of dawdling on their way home.
- Greet your family with a smile and enthusiasm. Ever think about whether your spouse feels more wanted and/or appreciated at work than at home? Remember actions speak louder than words.
- Try not to demand too much as soon as one walks through the door. After a hard days work, nothing is wrong with a few minutes of quiet and stillness (or whatever one does to wind down). Discuss how that will work. Parents home with children all day need a break as well.
- Don’t compare whose day is the toughest.
- Help each other with chores (even those normally assigned).
- Acknowledge each other’s accomplishments and give thanks for even minor household contributions. It’s so easy to get into the habit of only verbalizing complaints rather than good deeds.
- De-clutter. Clutter can actually help increase tension.
- Organize areas that tend to become disarrayed. Organizing closets, pantries, papers, etc. can help save time and therefore add to quality time.
- Put some TLC into an individual space. Even setting up an area that is conducive to an
individual’s personality and/or interests shows love, respect, and appreciation. That could be a child’s room, a man-cave, or even just a corner for a reader with a favorite chair. Even pets like a special place to call their own! - Have family dinners at the table. Today, society is so busy that we may tend to forget how great this still is for families, even just a husband and wife. Minimize eating on the go or in front of the television, slow down, and connect. Invite neighbors and friends for a table meal at times. Is the restaurant the only place to enjoy dinner and conversation?
- Do kitchen duty together. Cooking together can be fun. Togetherness in the kitchen makes it feel less of a chore. After those family meals, if you and your spouse (children are welcome too) tackle the cleanup together, it fosters more togetherness, the duty gets done faster, and it saves time for other things.
- Save a moment at the end of each day for quality time. Here’s to more togetherness! No chores involved! Since all were on deck with everything else, there just may be time to relax and enjoy a moment of peace together. Drop the phones, laptops, and leave the work alone. Watch a movie together; go for a walk, read, or just sit and talk (and there’s nothing wrong with silence).
- Get creative. Brainstorm more ideas that are out of the norm…like a date night at home…a picnic in the back yard…game night….Redecorate! It can break up the monotony of an environment. It can also create a warm and cozy vibe. Have fun and treat your home, inside and out, like a canvas. Design your environment. Look at the finishing touches and be proud of your own creations. It doesn’t matter how small a project is, accomplishment feels good. Don’t forget to praise each other!
Yes, I know, life gets busy. I just read somewhere (I can’t remember where) “There are enough hours in a day, you just have too many excuses.” Ouch! Is there truth to this? Probably so; for most of us. However, there’s always enough time for love. A simple smile, respect, thanks, and praises cost no time and money at all, but negativity costs a bunch. Remember, a home should be the safest, most peaceful, and joyous place for the entire family to return to after life’s chaos.
A good guideline, or even mission statement, for a home can be found in Isaiah 32:18 where it says, “My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.“
