June has passed by fast! It’s my favorite month, and not just because it’s my birthday month. Everything seems to look so joyous to me in June. After a season of rain and working on yard projects, I am able to sit outside on my deck and enjoy the site of the artwork created by both God and my husband’s hard working hands. I am just the planner because I have the creative mind to see what I like before it’s been created. I have a vision of what is pleasing to the eye. But all throughout the community the flowers are in bloom, lawns are manicured, and new landscaped projects are complete. I think about the hard work, time, and effort many people put forth for a beautifully manicured yard.
What else does June present itself with? Graduations and more weddings! Two very joyous occasions in which we may sit back and enjoy the site of the beginning of another chapter in life. Beaches are filled with people gazing at the beautiful, and powerful, ocean. What lovely sites to see in June. 
Let’s be honest, don’t we like to look at pleasant things? Whether its landscaping, nature, a beautiful painting, a baby’s smile, or a nicely polished sports car, don’t we all like to see what we think is pleasing to the eye? At times we may take all of our senses for granted or ignore the little things about them. Do we tend to do the same in a relationship? In regards to relationships, it is said that we should listen more than we speak. Can we listen with our eyes? Well, not really, but we do tend to do the same in a relationship? In regards to relationships, it is said that we should listen more than we speak. Can we listen with our eyes? Well, not really, but we do observe messages from others with our eyes. Therefore, our own actions, or lack thereof, are being observed as well. What do we want others to observe? Are our actions pleasing to the eye? What about physical appearance? Is how we groom ourselves important? It’s funny because it’s not difficult to observe how almost everyone, at some point in life, is very intentional about appearance. Was it a first date, an interview, or special event that motivated one to spend time and money for a new haircut, outfit, or make-up? For some occasions, we will even make sure we drive-up in a certain type of vehicle. Then if I ask others if how we look matters in marriage, there is a sort of defensiveness that emerges as if that idea is completely shallow and ridiculous. Well, I would agree if a relationship was based on that, but if we are honest with ourselves, we were attracted by what we saw at first, and although a relationship should evolve from that into a more meaningful connection, peoples’ desire to look at what is pleasing to the eye does not fade.
I would hope that my marriage is based on love and not looks, especially when I don’t consider myself the best looking person on the planet, but should I ignore the fact that my husband might appreciate me dressing up once in awhile for just him? Dr. Willard Harley, in his book His Needs; Her Needs, discusses how personal appearance is actually a need for some and that need tends to be more prominent for men. Notice I said need and not just a want. After I read that, I remembered a childhood scene. “Where are you going, Mom?” She replied, “nowhere” as she was applying makeup at 4:00 pm. I later realized it was an intentional act to avoid looking like a housekeeper upon her husband’s arrival from work. My grandmother is now eighty-nine. My grandfather has long passed, and my grandmother now has a regularly scheduled date with a ninety-one-year-old surviving Tuskegee Airman. Even he told her how he enjoys having a good-looking woman on his arm when he goes out. How do you feel about this? When it comes to looks, many seem to act indifferent if I mention it in regards to marriage, but isn’t there a reason why people pay special attention to grooming practices at the beginning of a relationship? Even The Bible presents some very descriptive words about a man and woman’s appealing looks with obvious passion. How beautiful and pleasant you are O’ loved one with all your delights (Song of Solomon 7:6). His appearance is like Lebanon…. (Song of Solomon 5:15).
We don’t need to look like supermodels. For many, it’s just about health. Why not give the same time and attention we give to an employer, someone else’s wedding, event, or a night out on the town with friends towards looking a little polished for our own spouses instead of saying, with our actions, “I no longer care to put forth the effort I once did for you.”
Try these simple things on for size.
- Get a new summer hairstyle.
- Throw away that old raggedy item of clothing you might be wearing around the house almost every day.
- Dress up like you did on your first date the next time you go out together. (Maybe not if that was twenty years ago, but you know what I mean).
- Work on a new fitness plan.
- Listen to any comments about how he/she may like to see you.
These small acts may put a smile on your own face, and a smile just might be the best thing to wear!
Also, lets also not forget that no matter what we look like on the outside, it’s more important for a positive inside to shine through.
Leslie Cristea
