Four ways to support your spouse’s dreams even when you have different dreams.
My husband and I were engaged two weeks after we met, and married four months later. Now, we are on our way to 13 years happy marriage and we both have been able to accomplish many of our dream goals.
During our (soon-to-be) 13 years of marriage, I have finished a successful career in the Navy, earned four college degrees and launched my own business. My husband has completed a successful career in the Marine Corps, and started a new career in law enforcement. We did it all while being leaders in ministry and while raising two beautiful children. We did it as a team.
My husband and I love God and we love each other, but we are different. We are passionate about different things and we have different dream goals that we want to accomplish. How do two different people with different dreams make their dreams happen while staying happy together? In the same way that a team with different players who have different aspirations can win a game together, a marriage with spouses who have different dreams can win together!
Here are four ways to support your spouse’s dreams even when you have different dreams.
- Know your role and your spouse’s role for the time at hand.
As a married couple, you’re on the same team, but each spouse may have a different role on the team at various times. For example, when I was attending college, my husband worked during the day and then stayed home to keep our little ones during the evenings while I went to school. It was my turn to pursue my education and his turn to support me.
After I finished my degree, my husband wanted to pursue his dream career in law enforcement. At that time, I focused on caring for the children so that he could focus on studying and passing his exams. I also packed a healthy lunch for him every day so that he could eat well and stay focused. It was his turn to pursue his law enforcement career, and my turn to support him.
- Never seek to compete against your spouse.
Marriage is not a competition, it’s a team effort. When your spouse is winning, you’re both winning. Have you ever seen a three-legged race where two people complete a short run while the left leg of one runner is tied to the right leg of the other runner? The couple who wins the three-legged race is usually the couple who runs in step as a team. Could you imagine if the two people with their legs tied together were focused on competing against each other? They would never make it to the finish line!
Marriage is the bond that ties you and your spouse together, and together is the best way to win.
- Be your spouse’s most committed fan.
Have you ever seen a really committed sports team fan? That person is the one who goes to the games and yells louder than the cheerleaders. The committed fan wears the team colors and anything they can find with the team’s logo. The committed fan is hopeful for the team’s success, even when the odds are against them. That’s how you should be for your spouse. No one outside of your marriage should be more committed to your spouse’s success than you are. Being committed to your spouse is being committed to the success of the team, your marriage.
- Don’t make yourself the MVP over your spouse.
It is unreasonable to think that your dream is more valuable than your spouse’s dream. On a team, no position is more important than the other, but all positions are equally important for the win. Your dream goals and your spouse’s dream goals are equally important. That is why it is worth the effort to find ways to support each other.
After nearly 13 years, I’m very happy in my marriage, but not just because my husband is good-looking. I am happy because I am free to live my purpose and chase my dreams, with his love and support. I am happy because my team is winning!
Supporting one another’s dreams in a marriage is not easy, but it’s worth it! What do you think? Leave your comment below.
Shonta Prince is a wife, mom, veteran, entrepreneur and a compelling speaker with a delivery style that is informative, inspirational, and influential. Shonta is the creator of the Programs that Profit Blueprint and she helps women entrepreneurs to build their brands, increase their social media visibility, and create programs that profit. She has helped entrepreneurs and ministers to successfully create magnetic brands that leave a mark of distinction in the marketplace.
