What does it mean to say something matters to you? The word matters communicates what is significant: of great importance. Now, think about what matters in your life. You may say your children matter, your career, your education, your finances, your health, or any number of examples. That’s simple enough. Well, it’s simple to say, but is what you say actually what you communicate? What if I say my health matters, but I eat fast food every day and don’t exercise? Would you believe a parent who says their children matter to them if they ignored them almost every minute of every day? The largest portion of a message is nonverbal, thus the statement we’ve heard all of our lives “Actions speak loader than words.” So, now, lets talk about my favorite topic, marriage. If you’re going to be married, shouldn’t the marriage matter to you? Are your actions congruent with your words? When your spouse asks if you still love him/her, any uncertainty is most likely coming from the presence of, or lack of, certain behaviors. The words “I love you” are insignificant without the actions to back it up. Well, there’s where it really gets interesting because the actions are an entire separate topic for a later discussion. Those aren’t always as simple as hugs, kisses, and buying gifts. For now, lets go back to thinking about the importance of the things we care about. It may be to get a degree, be promoted, be the best athlete, write a book, start a business, buy a first home, or win first place in a competition. Exceptional dedication may become evident in the amount of hours spent, intentional acts, and enthusiasm consistently demonstrated to accomplish a successful sequel. What about marriage? Is it handled with such diligence and zeal, or does it become an afterthought once every other daily task is complete? That is, if there’s enough energy left at the end of the day, week, or month even. You see, what matters most is usually what gets most attention (during the moments we have control of our time). Of course priorities will shift during certain moments or situations, but overall attentiveness is what helps to determine an outcome of exultation or discouragement. Focusing on what the spouse is (or isn’t) doing becomes a habit instead of just doing what we once did, without expecting compensation, out of pure willingness to act in kindness. The truth is, your input determines your output. Why should all this matter? Marriage is sacred. It is an example for our children, family, and society, and all suffer in some way, when that union is destroyed. What intentional acts consistently reveal, beyond a doubt, that your marriage matters? Just like the word matters can be both a noun and a verb, marriage is not just a union, it’s a ceaseless, dynamic, journey; It’s something you DO.
